Addicted

I am addicted

to something

that I know

is slowly killing

my soul.

I want to stop

-cold turkey-

I want to free myself

from these chains

but society trains us

to rely on this drug

to crave this drug

to kill for this drug

to die for this drug

to drill under the Arctic

for this drug

now I’m getting carsick

for this drug

I start to panic

when I’m too far

from my dealer

my mothers dying

and needs a healer

I love her

to the moon and back

but to feed this addiction

which is far worse

than crack

I steal from her

I tear off her limbs

I gouge out her eyes

I cut out her heart

and I fully realize

that I’m killing

her

and I hate myself

for it

but I’m a junkie

and I need a fix

we’re all addicted

and need our fixes

there are places to go

my truck won’t start

without her heart

the engine dies

without her eyes

and now ,

too late,

I realize

that it was my mother

who taught me

how to walk…

but as I try to walk away

the dealer says

that its 10 cents off

a gallon of regular today

and like I said,

I am addicted

so I fill the tank,

and cry

as I drive away

thinking

‘maybe one day’

but until then

I’ll pray for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

About soitgoes1984

I was born and raised on land stolen from the Pocumtuc. I now live on a small island in the middle of the Pacific ocean, on land that was stolen more recently, from the Hawaiians. I am addict, struggling to kick the habit of fossil fuel.
This entry was posted in addiction, climate, climate change, oil, poem, Poetry, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.