stand-up guy

no one thinks I’m funny

and I’m running out of money

telling jokes in this dive

and I can’t take 9-to-5

only 5 people in here

drinking fifty cent draught beer

and no one laughs or cheers

just shoot shit way too loud

it’s a small but rowdy crowd

and I’m about to give up

when this drunk guy walks right up

and says that I should finish up

so I knock him on his ass

and the other 4 drunks

pool their cash

and stuff it in my jar

so I pump 2 gallons in my car

though it won’t take me very far

but far enough to leave this town

I cashed out when my chips were down

which I’ve been told never to do

but my time on earth is now through

and when they find me

they’ll see I slit my wrists

with a broken

George Carlin compact disc

maybe then they’ll have a laugh.