Be Humane: The Spay & Neuter Song

On the island of Molokai

In a place they call Kalae

There was a cat

Named after a Phish song

 

This here is his story

It might get a little gory

But Once you know the lyrics

please feel free to sing along…

 

Mr. poster was a cat

And He was getting mighty fat

Stealing food away

from family, friend and foe

 

He was getting way too greedy

even ate our pet bird Petey

That’s when Artie said

“His balls have got to go”

 

John chimed in and said

“Poor cat would be better off dead.

To neuter Poster

is to take away his spunk.”

 

Artie said “I do not care

To other cats he is unfair

Please take him To the vet

Let them cut off his junk.”

 

Then John and Artie went away

To Oahu one day

So we lured him in the cage

with some cat food

 

Then we took him to the vet

On a trip he won’t forget

And he was groggy

when we picked him up at noon.

 

Now the other cats have peace

And posters life has a new lease

he’s high on mice

Less so testosterone

 

and we don’t feel too bad

that he’ll never be a dad

It’s not like they put his head

inside a cone.

 

Like Bob said day and night

On his show the Price is Right

spay and neuter

or they’ll take you for a fool

 

Tell Everyone you know

Tell people everywhere you go

And when you get there

Tell all your friends at school…

 

Spay and neuter your pets

Spay and neuter your pets

spay and neuter your pets, pets, pets

spay and neuter your pets

spay and neuter your pets

It’s an act you won’t regret

 

It’s our kuliana

The pets we have we must Malama

So they don’t starve

And knock up half the town

 

Their lives are sacred too

We all know what we must do

And we’ve all heard

What goes down at the pound

 

So spay and neuter your pets

Spay and neuter your pets

spay and neuter your pets, pets, pets

spay and neuter your pets

spay and neuter your pets

Whether you’re on the right or the left

 

Fixing pets is what to do

If you are Muslim, Christian, Jew,

Zoroastrian, Buddhist or Baha’i

 

Spay and neuter your pets

And you’ll have no regrets

Spay and neuter your pets

So they don’t have to diiiie!

 

If you live on Moloka’i

Or you live nowhere near Hawaii

whether you are young or old

Whether it is hot or cold

you can get there fast or slow

just as long as you go…

to spay and neuter your pets!

 

Oh and Mr. Poster,

He’s doing just fine

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