letter to an angel

June 2009

When I look into her angelic eyes,                                                                                                     

I see you.                                                                                                                             

Everyone says she looks just like you                                                                                            

that she has your eyes…                                                                                                                  

but it hurts.                                                                                                                                         

I see you every morning                                                                                                                  

when I hold her in my arms                                                                                                          

and every night when my dreams                                                                                                      

whisk me away                                                                                                                                            

to the county fair on our first date,                                                                                                 

but pink cotton candy and carnival rides                                                                                           

fade to pink ribbons and rides                                                                                                         

to Saint Mary’s                                                                                                                             

where I lay roses                                                                                                                             

next to tear stained letters.                                                                                                     

Remember how you laughed                                                                                                            

as I got frustrated                                                                                                                            

trying to win you                                                                                                                                 

that giant teddy bear?                                                                                                            

Twenty-seven dollars later                                                                                                                

he still sits in our bedroom                                                                                                     

looking sad                                                                                                                                       

fading the same way                                                                                                                         

our memories will.                                                                                                                        

The odds beat you                                                                                                                         

my heart still beats for you.                                                                                                              

I know you’re waiting,                                                                                                                          

upset that I lied                                                                                                                             

when I said that I would                                                                                                                  

be there for you                                                                                                                       

always.                                                                                                                                          

My love for you grows stronger                                                                                                

everyday                                                                                                                                          

the pain cuts deeper and deeper.                                                                                                   

She needs her mommy                                                                                                                       

I’m lost without my better half.                                                                                                           

I’m tired of burning supper,                                                                                                                                

getting bleach spots on my dress pants                                                                                           

and waking up                                                                                                                                                 

alone.                                                                                                                                               

You fought                                                                                                                                              

as hard as you could                                                                                                                      

harder than most.                                                                                                                               

I’d run to you now                                                                                                                         

but she’s too precious                                                                                                                     

just like you.                                                                                                                                       

You didn’t believe me                                                                                                                            

when I told you                                                                                                                             

Steve Tyler smiled at you.                                                                                                              

At that Aerosmith concert                                                                                                             

third row.                                                                                                                                         

All those people                                                                                                                              

and he smiled                                                                                                                                     

at you!                                                                                                                                                

Even as more and more doctors                                                                                                            

brought more and more bad news                                                                                                 

you stayed beautiful                                                                                                                        

inside and out.                                                                                                                                               

It didn’t matter                                                                                                                                  

when they stole                                                                                                                                  

your beautiful locks                                                                                                                       

and your energy.                                                                                                                                

Your smile and laugh                                                                                                                 

remained contagious.                                                                                                                        

I see that same smile                                                                                                                        

and laugh                                                                                                                                                

as she laughs.                                                                                                                                     

I’ll see you soon                                                                                                                              

but not too soon                                                                                                                             

that pretty little lady needs me.                                                                                                           

Until you greet me                                                                                                                             

at the gate,                                                                                                                                  

spread your wings                                                                                                                               

my dear                                                                                                                                           

and fly                                                                                                                                                 

with the rest of the angels.                                                                                                                                    

All my love,                                                                                                                             

forever and always

About soitgoes1984

I was born and raised on land stolen from the Pocumtuc. I now live on a small island in the middle of the Pacific ocean, on land that was stolen more recently, from the Hawaiians. I am addict, struggling to kick the habit of fossil fuel.
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